Q&A + Baby

This is white noise in the corridor calming him down.

Today, baby and I faced our biggest professional challenge yet: appearing as panellists at the Teach First annual offsite conference for Teach First employees and partners. This meant two 60 minute Q&A sessions in Nottingham (I live in London) exploring the ideas behind The #maternityteacher Project and achievements to date.  This required a lot of energy, and our smartest pair of shoes, but I found that repeating motivational mantras to myself gave me the encouragement to get up and go. 

"I am the change I want to see in the world," I said to myself when I got into the shower at 6am. Baby farted in his sleep and sighed in a satisfied way. 

"Be 10% braver," I said to myself whilst getting baby up and changed. Baby pooped all over the changing mat three times. Clearly very excited, maybe a bit nervous about his guest appearance. 

"Coffee is always a good idea," I said to myself as I left the house with a Baby Bjorn bouncer frame over my shoulder like Huckleberry Finn's mum, to join the 7am commuters. Baby stuck his tongue out to suck up the tube breeze and dribbled. 

"I am a super woman," I said when my train was cancelled and I approached station staff to request to be re-routed. Baby chewed his whole fist and sicked a little down his chin. 

"Thank fuck I don't have to do this every morning anymore," I said as I put the bouncer frame in the luggage rack and released baby from the sling. Baby pooped loudly and smiled. Achievements come in many varied forms. 

Note: professional shoes.

When we finally got to Nottingham, the panel itself was very exciting, if a bit overwhelming. In true #maternityteacher style, we arrived a million hours early, reconnaissanced the room, set up the bouncer, had a feed and a cup of tea and finished the last chapter of 'Jungly Tales' by gumming it aggressively before the first audience members arrived and baby became an instant sensation.  

Now, here's a tip if you're considering doing a similar event with your baby: your baby is the most beautiful little person in the whole world; he is making an appearance at an event where babies do not usually appear; everybody loves an adorable, smiling baby, and everybody wants to touch said baby.  I'm normally very happy and proud to hand my baby over to other people for cuddles - often I take pictures of him with various professional celebrities - but I was surprised at how worried I was that he would be overwhelmed by all of this attention, and yet at the same time I would have been offended if he had been ignored!  This was probably a projection on my behalf, but something to think about if other people touching your baby is not your favourite thing.

Yes, my baby is PERFECT.

Once I'd calmed down my inner control-mother, I delivered my introduction, realising that I was the only one who had brought notes.  Part of me felt like a school girl rather than a serious, professional person; the other half of me got flustered and distracted when the baby screamed about his wind so was very grateful to have a set of bullet points to follow whilst most of my brain was actually worrying about him.  Use whatever personalised strategies allow you to multi-task in this way, even if they do make you feel like you're laying out your shiny new pencil case on your desk on the first day of school.

After all three panellists had spoken on different aspects of women in leadership, there was an explosion of responses that I am going to have to take a whole day in my pyjamas to process.

Amongst the ideas that stood out was the importance of choice. Whenever anyone starts talking about parenting, discussions become very personal, very charged and very defensive. Am I doing enough? Am I doing it right? Have I met expectations? Am I a good mother? Am I a strong woman? One thing I maybe didn't emphasise enough today was that the inception of The #maternityteacher Project was motivated by fear: I am bad at doing nothing; boredom scares me; I have to build structured relaxation time into my day so that I don't feel guilty; I was deathly afraid of getting post natal depression because of such a dramatic shift in my pace of life. I couldn't find any examples of parental leave that didn't include Baby Jazz or baking, and these things don't float my boat half as much as improving my understanding of 19th century literature or facilitating a session on EAL for trainee teachers.  

Note: engaged speakers, vacantly staring mother.

It was really interesting to see and hear how the idea of The MaternityTeacher PaternityTeacher Project was received by a whole range of parents - from those who had told their Mums that they were going to complete PhDs whilst on maternity leave, but had ended up happily lying on a beach for nine months, to those who thought that the responsibility for bridging the gap of parental leave lay in changes to organisational structures, not programmes of 'catch up' like this one.

This raised the question of revolution vs. evolution. Do we need a social revolution that completely changes the way that we perceive parental leave, women and men's roles, and childcare? That makes certain gender-focused events obligatory for men or maternity leave coaching a legal requirement for all organisations? Or will the only effective change be a result of a trickle down effect whereby this #maternityteacher supports and inspires three other #maternityteachers and #paternityteachers who go on to inspire nine more... until eventually there is no need for a revolution because organically, there will be a more even balance in the education system (and who knows - the whole country) between the sharing of parenting and leadership roles?

My personal, and very self-centered response to the evolution vs. revolution question is one of time: I have three months left of my maternity leave and if I wait for a revolution, I'll end up sitting in a classroom three days a week at 52, sipping my bitter coffee, reflecting on the career opportunities I sacrificed in order to raise three boys who were now contributing to the hateful patriarchy.  As it is, I am bored now. I am acting now. I hope to inspire and support now. I'll leave all this talk of revolution to my French husband. 

Another interesting suggestion was that schools are awarded with a sort of 'Gender Equality' award, a bit like an Arts Smart or an Eco Schools Award that recognises the efforts made to ensure gender equality amongst staff and to teach these values to students in schools.  I'd have to get my head around this one and the dangers of positive discrimination and tokenism vs. meritocracy, but I thought it was a creative idea to suggest, which could have some potential. 

A final resounding comment came from the only man in the first session: it had been intimidating and uncomfortable to attend the event as the only man in the room but it had been important, relevant to him and very interesting. At lunch time, he and others who had been at the first session actively sought out other men and said, 'You should go to this Q&A panel after lunch. This crazy woman has brought her baby.'  After lunch, there were at least ten - maybe more - men in the room. They were all interested, they were all engaged.  One of them sadly reflected that he had missed the opportunity for a cuddle, now that the baby was asleep in the sling.

It was so exciting to hear from Team Dad and have my suspicions confirmed: we are all on the same page here. Time away from the office/ classroom to spend with your child: good. Flexible CPD to develop your skills in areas of interest or reflect on career pathways: good. Shared childcare responsibilities that means everyone gets to enjoy magical smiles and dribble: good. Greater equality in educational leadership: good. None of this is exclusive to one or other gender. So encouraged am I by this that I'm changing the name of this Thing to The MaternityTeacher PaternityTeacher Project.  It's longer, but The ParentalTeacher Project sounds weird.  I'm also going to keep asking for someone to put me in contact with a male teacher who has completed CPD whilst on parental leave to be my @paternityteacher partner in crime. Are you out there? Do you have Twitter?

Please zoom in to his facial expression here.

Amongst all of this excitement and intense chat, baby was mostly an absolute legend and at all other times he was a baby and did all the normal things that babies do. He got grizzly and needed to be bounced in the sling to fall asleep. He made noises (delightful) as if he were in the Houses of Parliament  during the other panellists' anecdotes. When he got wind and screamed, he had to be taken outside. I think it was too cold and we are not used to cold as it has basically been sweltering since he was born and he has spent most of his life in just a nappy, and he got clingy and didn't want to stay in the bouncer and chew on 'Jungly Tales' by himself. I've since realised that he is in the middle of an angry rain cloud on my Wonder Weeks app, but the only person who seemed remotely bothered by all of this was me. 

I had one brief moment of wondering whether it was all a bit too much and I was a terrible, selfish mother but then the baby massage elicited an enormous fart and suddenly baby was fascinated by his audience again (and then he fell asleep). 

We ended the day a little overwhelmed by all the potential and opportunity and relevance of the project and basically got home and collapsed and made vowel sounds to each other and smiled and dribbled some more. Nottingham is quite a long way for a small baby. Tomorrow we will do a lot of lying on the carpet and we might try to look for Spot the Dog again. We keep losing him. 

Case Study: Chance Encounters

Kathryn Wright (@kathrynfenlodge), freelance RE Advisor, RE Advisor to the Diocese of Norwich and Lead Consultant for Teach: RE shares her inspiring #maternityteacher experience.

I am writing this blog because I passionately believe that parental leave can be an opportunity for career development and I want to support The #maternityteacher Project. Let me explain why...

Very few people can probably claim that their career took off during maternity leave, but this is what happened to me about ten years ago!  In short, this was partly due to being in the right place at the right time, but also due to the incredible support of colleagues who saw the opportunities that maternity leave provided for flexible working from home.

Ten years ago I had a nine-month old baby, and a toddler running around; I had been an RE Adviser to the London Borough of Newham for a number of years, but had decided to explore other avenues of work to fit better around my family and avoid the long daily commute from to London from Cambridgeshire.

A Chance Encounter

During my maternity leave I started to run a toddler group – slightly out of my comfort zone as I am secondary trained!  However, I required some resources to help me, and whilst searching for these, bumped into an RE Adviser.  She suggested that whilst I was on maternity leave I trained to become a Section 48 (Statutory Inspection of Anglican Schools) Inspector, explaining that I could choose when to undertake inspections so that the commitments worked around my children. I took her up on this suggestion and whilst on the training course met another Adviser who told me they needed a secondary RE specialist to work with schools in Norfolk! My new ‘freelance’ career had begun!

Networking

The RE community is strong and vibrant.  There is probably some kind of network meeting taking place every week for teachers. There are similar networking opportunities for Advisers too, and I decided to pop along to my local group. I was fortunate that my husband was working shifts, so had the children for the morning.  It was here that I met Mary Myatt (@MaryMyatt) who at that time was an Adviser in Suffolk. Mary saw the possibilities and opportunities of my situation and supported me in my early days as a freelancer by opening doors for project work, and inviting me to events to help me network with others. She also always understood the constraints of being a parent, and I never felt pressured.

Flexible Working

Lastly, a number of organisations contacted me during my maternity leave because they knew I would be based at home.  I would have more time to write, apparently! So I wrote articles; I helped prepare a bid for funding; I wrote material for a website; I acted as a consultant for a media organisation… many of these opportunities came about because of the creative thinking of other Advisers in my field – other Advisers who did not have time to ‘write’ because they were in schools had the foresight to pass these opportunities on to me.

Opportunities for All

In my work as an Adviser now, there are a number of ways in which I try to support those on parental leave leave, I think partly due to the way my own career has developed. One of my roles is as Lead Consultant for the distance-learning TeachRE Course, which has many flexible routes and pathways that enable teachers to complete it remotely – perfect for those on parental leave!  If this sounds like the right CPD opportunity for you, then we’d love to hear from you!

One of the aims of The #maternityteacher Project is to provide parents with role models by sharing stories like Kathryn's so that teachers on parental leave can explore different options of CPD that are most appropriate for their circumstance.  If you have a #maternityteacher or #paternityteacher story, we'd love to feature it on this blog!  Get in touch with the #maternityteacher on Twitter - @maternityCPD.

#maternityteacher at 7 Weeks

So. It is sitting rather lethargically in Cambridge's Fitzbillies with a sleepy and well fed baby next to me that I have a moment to reflect on the challenge I set myself two months ago to make the most of my maternity leave as a CPD opportunity. Responses to this first post were mixed with many experienced mums assuring me that a newborn baby was a handful and setting my sights too high would result in nothing but frustration and disappointment.  They were all correct, of course: I average five hours of sleep a night, one or two meltdowns a week and now know what Hell will sound like (the over-tired cry).  However, the more I stubbornly pursued alternative responses and experiences, the more I encountered older and wiser women who encouraged and inspired me, or women of my own age who were grappling with setting themselves similar challenges.

It quickly became apparent, however, that examples of women who have used maternity leave as a CPD opportunity to support their career development rather than exclusively to spend time off with the baby - a gratefully received or begrudgingly tolerated reality - were few and far between.  One of the main reasons for this, I have discovered, is because we are simply not 'there' yet with gender equality, and were even further away from it twenty years ago when many of our current female leaders were forcing their way up the ladder.  One woman, responding to my FutureLearn blog appearance said, "I wish I had this opportunity when I was a young teacher with my first baby.  In my day, we were fighting for equal pay and male sexism over our going back to work at all."  The more I have this #maternityteacher conversation, the more I realise that we still need to push forwards in order to achieve gender equality, and that I have a duty to be a concrete role model for others.  Cue lots of cliched but relevant quotes:

(Note: all these relevant and stirring quotes are attributed to men.  Coincidence?)

Over the last ten weeks, I hope I have proved that maternity leave doesn't have to be a career break, or a leadership pause.  I have completed FutureLearn courses that have supported reflections and creative approaches to my teaching practice, and I have shared these with colleagues still in the classroom to action on my behalf; the same courses have helped me to develop my subject knowledge and begin collating ideas that will hopefully turn into publishable resources; I have improved my understanding of the new GCSE curriculums in order to ensure these resources are appropriate for KS4 teaching; I've gone on adventures to museums, sites, galleries and the countryside and collected the names of exciting non-fiction authors to develop these resources; I have networked with colleagues from Teach First, Future Learn, the Teacher Development Trust and WomenEd; I have been offered the opportunity to facilitate a coaching session exploring these #maternityteacher issues at the next WomenEd Unconference; I have read books on bilingualism, early child development and the immigrant experience, all of which have helped me to reflect on the contexts in which I teach; I have attended Shakespeare days run by my old university and WomenEd Lead Meets and I have blogged and Tweeted about it all to shout from the rooftops that if you so choose, you may have your cake and eat it, too.

... But wait a second... not once has this monster of a woman mentioned her baby - that precious bundle of joy to which she should be dedicating her time.  Remember, these moments will never happen again!  Well, don't worry, said baby has been pretty much attached to my boob for the whole time and I have been overwhelmed with how generous and considerate and chatty society as a whole can be when you rock up anywhere with a tiny (and let's be honest, incredibly handsome) baby.  I've done all the above whilst attending health visitor and doctors' appointments, visiting family, making faces, cooing, wiping up poop and vomit, doing night feeds and day feeds and evening feeds and all the feeds, and jiggling and bouncing and singing and crying on Skype to my mother.  Gosh, I must be Superwoman, how do I do it?  Well, not quite Superwoman, more Hyperactive Girl or Undiagnosed ADHD Woman, but here are a few tips I've picked up with my battle scars and cuddles to help you enjoy the first few weeks of motherhood and professional development:

1. Buy a sling.  Tiny babies don't want to be put down because their mummies smell and feel just so good.  Of course, mummies love to cuddle babies, but mummies also like to have a life and answer emails and design resources and get the laundry done and prepare sustenance.  Mummies who rely on public transport also like to escape the prison of their own homes and get out and about without being restricted to the tube stops with buggy access, or taking up too much space in cafes.  I strongly advise one of the soft slings to begin with because tiny babies will not be satisfied unless they are pressed up against your heart beat and feel as if they are once again smothered tightly in the womb.  The same goes for some form of bouncer.  Bouncers give you your life back.  Get one.

2. Set yourself goals and review them.  This way, you can see how much you have achieved and feel empowered and encouraged even if you are still in your pyjamas, starving, at 3:00pm with conditioner still in your hair and a screaming baby fussing around and head butting your nipple.  If you haven't achieved anything, you can feel motivated to take small steps towards achievement.

3. Observe your baby.  This is one of those common sense teaching techniques that actually comes from Montessori.  You can read about her and other practitioners in this very accessible book.  Essentially, make your baby a scientific study for a few days: what settles him?  Why does he get upset?  What time of day are happy times, and which are the very dark times?  What vague patterns does he seem to be displaying?  How long does he tend to sleep for at a time?  When does he want to feed more?  When does he sleep for longer periods?

Don't bother with this in the first four weeks, but from about week 5 onwards, your little chap or chappess might fall into a very loose rhythm that will help you to plan your days more successfully to work around him because trust me, he won't work around you just yet.  If being a neurotic control freak tickles your fancy, go to town like me and colour code and then discuss the data with your partner in the evening to adapt your action plan for the following day.

4. Get out of bed - at least by week 5 or 6.  Get up, open the curtains, make lots of noise, turn the radio on, do everything you can to wake up.  Not only will you be helping baby to distinguish between night and day and therefore potentially give yourself longer sleeps at night, it will also readjust your body clock to some form of adult routine.  Yes, you will be tired.  Yes, you will be functioning on 5-6 hours of broken sleep, but you will get a lot done, your body will be far more grateful for this sense of routine and if you're anything like me, your mental health will improve because of this sense of purpose and schedule.

5. Get your timings right.  Once you're out of bed and have done some good Montessori observing, think carefully about your timings.  Don't organise that Skype conference call at 4:00pm, for example, when the baby makes you feel like you're failing at life.  Do be ready to leave the house the minute the burping is done and know very well where you will sit down for the next feed in one or two hours' time.  Don't plan a two hour road trip without knowing where the service stations or convenient places to stop are etc.

6. Be flexible.  It's true: sometimes you will need to literally drop everything and deal with your baby, and you will be happy to do so.  Nothing will be more important to you in that instance.  Don't feel bad if you have to cancel, rearrange, stop, fail in other areas - do these things another time and accept that your leadership journey is a squiggle with your baby at the centre of the jumble, not a straight line with you in full control.  With this in mind, plan CPD opportunities that are accommodating of your baby commitments.

7. Develop your pedagogy.  Essentially, you are now the personal tutor to your most prized student.  Get that investigate brain in gear and build a CPD team with your child.  If you have, or are interested in a pastoral role, or work with children with challenging backgrounds or circumstances, understanding early childhood development and things like separation anxiety, early literacy and attachment theory can be hugely helpful in understanding how these things manifest themselves in challenging behaviours, peer relations and how they impact on students' learning.

It will also make you feel really good about sitting in the garden on a warm, but slightly breezy day, drinking coffee with your baby shaded under a red umbrella because you would have built your own sensory experience for him rather than paying someone £80 a term to do the honours for you.

8. Maximise on nap time.  Gosh, what a naughty new mother thing for me to suggest.  This goes against all the 'sleep when the baby sleeps' advice from the NCT but if you, like me, have worked 70 hour weeks in a high-stress environment and are actually feeling pretty chuffed about getting six hours sleep a night, even if it is broken and find it difficult to sleep in the day, then when that baby drops off happily to sleep in the sling, the bouncer or the moses basket, get on and do whatever you were hoping to do - the online learning, the reading, the blogging, the emailing, the planning, the designing.  Even if baby will only sleep on top of you with his face pressed into your sick-scented cleavage as you lie, despairing, in the middle of the living room, have that book or smart phone in grabbing distance, take a deep breath, and read your FutureLearn extract about managing teams.

9. Be 10% braver.  It's that WomenEd mantra again!  The cynic in me has been genuinely shocked (in a good way) that everyone I have asked to meet for a networking coffee has been delighted to have my baby along; my line managers at work batted not a single eyelid when baby attended a meeting I requested, and proceeded to shart his way through most of it; none of my colleagues on results day cared if I breastfed or changed a nappy in my old classroom - or theirs!  The biggest shock of all: conference organisers are excited about baby being on stage with me in front of what could be 50-100 people during a Q&A panel later on this month, and a workshop to explore the #maternityleave journey further in October.  However, I sat in front of my computer for a good hour before clicking 'send' on an email that said, 'I'd love to be a panellist, but is there anything you can do for me in terms of child care?'  I felt incredibly unprofessional asking, but there is more and more support out there for the reality that a 3 month old baby won't be in nursery, and if an organisation would like the time and input of a mother of such a young baby on a week day, then they will have to provide childcare!  So, what's the worst that could happen?  Be 100% braver and bring baby along!

@WomenEd Reflections

So.  For those of you who weren’t quite sure what I meant by ‘endlessly optimistic’ and ‘frighteninglystubborn’, here’s a reckless story of irresponsible risk-taking for you: today is my due date, but we know first babies never come on time – I’ve read books about it and heard many a first-hand anecdote.  ‘Plan something for that day,’ a very good friend counselled me, so, instead of sitting twiddling my thumbs, I thought that attending a @WomenEd Lead Meet would be a good idea.  Thus far, this baby has been very well behaved and I am a strong believer in the power of positive thinking.  He is a considerate and thoughtful foetus, I decided, so he’ll work around this networking event.  

It was my first time at a @WomenEd event, and I have to say, even the decision to get on the tube was empowering experience.  One of @Miss_Wilsey's mantras is to 'be 10% braver', and one thing that I am committing to whilst being on maternity leave is to try my hardest to ensure that this time works for me - me as a mother, me as a professional, me as a human being.  If I feel like napping, I nap.  If I need to change nappies, I will change nappies.  If I can complete online learning, I will complete online learning.  If everything has to stop for baby's needs, then everything will stop.  Like the inspiring Karen Edwards who travelled around the world with her baby on her maternity leave, I am determined that there will only be solutions.  I could have sat this one out, just in case, but I decided to be 10% braver, changed out of maternity yoga pants, threw on a blazer, communicated the 'in case of emergency' plan to a colleague and jumped on the tube.

The 'Lead Meet' style get together was run as a series of short presentations from a whole variety of different women who shared lessons and models of leadership based on personal and professional experience.  Even during the event, reflections were being documented in a Twitter explosion (#WomenEd #LeadMeet), but at the end of the presentations, we were invited to reflect more comprehensively on our ‘takeaways’, so here are mine:

1. Networking is important.  

2. Now is the time to inspire.

3. The path of leadership journeys ne'er did run smooth.

The Leadership Squiggle

Since launching my little #maternityteacher campaign and talking, intensively and frenetically, to anybody who has had any experience of raising children, I have been given a great deal of well-meaning advice, some of which has been easier to swallow than others.  I am an instinctively rebellious and stubborn child, and more often than not, when I am told that I cannot or should not do something, I go out of my way to prove that I can and will, sometimes cutting my nose off to spite my own face, and sometimes achieving impressive and admirable things.  Some of the comments with the potential for the least catalytic consequences, therefore, have been along the lines of 'do what works for you' or 'have goals, but don't put too much pressure on yourself to achieve them, otherwise you'll feel like a failure', or 'planning and prediction go out of the window with a baby, but that's not a bad thing'.

I therefore find myself listening to parents and professionals for whom I have a great deal of respect, and attempting to visualise my place in this ambiguous world of working motherhood without the final piece of the jigsaw (the now six day overdue baby) to help to make everything a bit more concrete.  What I found really comforting to hear from @thosethatcan at the recent @WomenEd Lead Meet, therefore, were the personal anecdotes that exemplified a leadership journey similar to this image:

With experience in Senior Leadership Teams, as a mother, and eagerly awaiting her doctorate in Education, @thosethatcan is definitely an unambiguous role model for an ambitious upstart like me, but like so many leaders - male and female - she described the unexpectedness, the surprises, the direction changes and the steps backwards that have accompanied her career progression.  This experience was then echoed by @cjproflead, a former Headteacher and now Chair of the Leading Women's Alliance whose stepping in and out of the school system has taken her in all sorts of interesting directions like psychotherapy, and now into a very active retirement!

Hearing from these women reminded me that whilst guaranteeing success does rely on having a clear vision and set of targets and an idea of a trajectory, sticking too firmly to a given colour-coded 5-year plan (you bet I made one on the second day of maternity leave!) is as detrimental as having no plan at all.  Ironically, there is no-one who knows this better than myself: in the first four years of my career, I moved countries three times, fell in love and got married in the space of 13 months, switched from the state UK to the private international sector and back again, entertained and prepared to live in two additional countries and eventually returned to the UK with no job, nowhere to live and a new French husband in tow - none of which had been anticipated in the original 5 year plan!  One side of me is horrified by the thought of knowing that my life is mapped out without any unknowns or variables to jump out at me tomorrow or in six months or ten year's time, but the other side is desperate to control and orchestrate so that I can achieve the audacious goals I have challenged myself to achieve in one short lifespan.

What this period of reflective calm before the newborn storm has afforded me has been the reminder that the vast majority of my success so far has relied on my ability to adapt, seize opportunities, remain open-minded and endlessly optimistic, dream big, remain solutions-focused, plan in minute detail and function on very little sleep.  As illustrated in Jorge Luis Borge's short story, The Garden of Forking Paths (recommended read!), therefore, what is sometimes necessary is not a singular, rigid, inflexible paths, but a series of many possible paths that fulfil overall professional goals.  Having a clear idea of both these overall goals and the different routes towards them is helpful in that it marries flexibility with determination and direction, and helps you to avoid career decisions that will in fact derail your squiggly, ambiguous, but ultimately authentic and fulfilling journey towards your individual perception of success without leaving you worried that you may have missed out on a priceless opportunity.

If you are fortunate to have some time to reflect upon these plans, then why not join me in using the following questions/tasks to add clarity to this ambiguous and squiggled leadership journey?

1. How would you describe the end goal of your leadership journey?

Here, think about the zenith - the top of the mountain - the words that describe what you would like to look back on when you feel you have achieved all that you wanted to achieve.  These are likely to be vague, but should be more tangible than words that might describe your core values.  Gender equality, for example or school leadership or empowering others or the highest quality.

2. Draw your leadership squiggle and around or within it, write down all the ways that you could achieve these vaguely tangible goals.

Really think big, diverse and without any sort of ceiling for this: when leaving Vietnam to move to Singapore/ France/ Australia/ the UK (who knew where anyone was going to be at the end of that three months?) for me, this ranged from teaching in Nauru's detention centres to working for an Asian-based NGO to Teach for Australia to a distance learning MA in Gender Studies to relinquishing all control and accepting the jet-set lifestyle of a 'trailing spouse' (hideous term) and finally writing my long-dormant novel.

3. See if you can separate these blue-sky thinking ideas into different categories.

Again, as an exemplifier, my current plans for making productive use of my maternity leave fall into three fairly distinct categories: 'subject knowledge', 'leadership' and 'curriculum changes', knowing that my long term goals focus around either curriculum or CPD leadership.  Two years ago, at the exciting Asia-Pacific juncture of my life though, the above options fell roughly into the categories of 'study', 'educational charities' and 'freelance creativity'.  Accept that if you choose to complete this exercise in 18 months or three year's time, these categories are likely to have changed again, based on your experiences and preferences.

4. Make decisions based on these goals and categories.

At the end of the day, you have no idea which of these paths, or which amalgamation of these plans, or if any of them will eventually come to fruition, but what you can do is make sensible decisions based on what you know will help to lead you towards a future of job satisfaction and success.  I, for example, love gardening and considered spending some time on my maternity leave studying horticulture or volunteering at my local National Trust gardens so that one day in the future I could... and that's where the logic ended.  I have a lovely garden and I grow strawberries and visit the gardens in my big book of '1001 Gardens to See Before you Die', but this is not aligned to my career goals any more than baking is.  Because I have a clear idea of the categories on my leadership squiggle, I was therefore instantly able to rule this out, just like I was able to rule out anything to do with film or the circus (I'm being serious), and spend more time researching and committing to more productive action.

5. Take action and seize opportunities.

Be sensible and use your SMART targets to act upon these decisions: in six months, for example, I cannot complete my MA in Gender Studies or International Development with a focus on women's education - this would be to ignore the time bounded nature of effective target setting - but I can complete at least three online courses on Leadership and Management through Future Learn, get certificates and plan how I will communicate this professional development and 'sell myself' to my Principal upon my return.

When considering these actions, make sure that you prepare your mind to seize opportunities.  As @Miss_Wilsey would encourage us to do, be 10% braver: if a promotion presents itself that aligns itself with steps 1-4, then take step 5 and apply for it (and don't let your gender get in the way of this).  If an opportunity presents itself that means stepping out of the classroom/ office, but it aligns itself with steps 1-4, then pack up your desk and step out.  If you realise that what will be good for you in the long term is a wellbeing break in the short term, then book your yoga retreat in Bali and buy a new pair of sunglasses!

Lastly, if you want to pursue this sort of career reflection further, then I highly recommend getting yourself a coach, or if you can't do this, I hear Richard N. Bolles' 'What Colour is Your Parachute' is also a pretty handy guide, though this is third hand information, so don't quiz me on it!

#maternityteacher

#maternityteacher tip 1: use your human resources to your advantage - baby probably knows more than you do about teaching, learning and child development!

Recently, I wrote one of my first blog posts that veered towards an opinion piece rather than a post based entirely on sharing practical teaching strategies, focusing on how to make productive use of my six months of maternity leave, and how this time could be used as an effective CPD and reflection opportunity amongst the demands of a newborn baby.  I was genuinely shocked by the popularity of the post and the responses I received on social media from mothers, fathers and those from within and outside of the teaching profession without children.  Some were comforting, some made me truly sad, and some absolutely enraged me.

What has been somewhat challenging so far, though, has been that very few responses provided me with a model to which I can aspire.  There seem to be very few women in my social circle or Twittersphere who can offer me personal anecdotes or real life examples of having your cake and eating it: some have used maternity leave to complete MAs or other professional qualifications but have either felt like they have compromised, or have made a decision that is personally right for them and their families not to go back to work, to go back to work part time, or to pursue foci in their life that require less commitment in order to balance the needs of their families.  Others have reassured me that ambition and leadership are definitely women's arenas, I just need to be patient, accept that there is a longer term plan, and wait until these baby/ motherhood years are 'done' so that I can achieve my goals later in life.  Others, especially those outside of teaching, have reassured me that the individuality of my skills means that I will not be 'overtaken' whilst on maternity leave because only I can do my job in the manner in which I do it; however, in the fast-paced, demanding culture of disposability that is the British state education system, I am not convinced that this investment in or valuing of people is something that is realistically sustainable, especially where women with priorities other than Year 11 and Progress 8 are concerned.

Call my rose-tinted, but I am not naive enough to think that this means that there are no female role models currently smashing some professional goal, leading a year group, a department or a school whilst simultaneously breastfeeding and managing their childcare direct debits, 10 hours into their 12 hour day on 3 hours sleep, it's just that I don't know their Twitter handle, and they haven't read my blog yet.  It is likely that they are too busy being inspirational to read my blog posts or to have a Twitter account and so I will have to seek them out and watch their practice without the help of social media.

In the meantime, I wanted to thank all of those who responded and shared some really insightful articles and experiences with me and post again, reflecting upon what I have heard (this is what happens when you encourage me!  No more useful strategies - all waffling opinion from now on!)  Your comments have raised questions that, as of yet, I have no answers for, but which I think are worth pondering over, if this whole motherhood/ women/ leadership/ gender equality is your special interest topic:

• Why are the men who love and support us - both personally and professionally - not more involved in this conversation or the actions that could lead to changing this culture that seems to force compromise upon working mothers?
• To what extent are these men equally as trapped by social expectations and gender stereotypes as their wives, partners and colleagues are?
• Why is there such a resounding rhetoric of 'can't' and 'won't be able to' from other women surrounding new mothers' abilities to multitask?  Is this reality, experience or simply negative reinforcement and a self-fulfilling prophecy?
• How, really, is 'domestic work' valued by both genders in our society and where do concepts of choice, flexibility and equality come into this?
• Where is my inspiration or a model to follow and, if they do exist, why do they seem so hidden, despite proactive searching?  (Maybe these women are too busy being on maternity leave and completing their professional development for Twitter!)
• How can I have my cake and eat it, break the mould, swim against the current, be the change that I wish to see and all those other cliches without simply doing so just to prove a point and show that it can be done?

Ever solutions focused, however, I posted a number of suggestions - for myself and for other teachers on maternity leave - about how I am going to try to use my time to flexibly keep my mind ticking over during this six months in order to maintain a sense of my professional self whilst entirely consumed by the presence of a tiny human who I will love beyond words and want to stare at and squeeze all day.

This new blog, therefore, is dedicated to this career development (yes!  Maternity leave is a career development!): as I will now be out of the classroom for six months, it will focus on documenting my professional development and reflections, which is likely to lead to more opinions, but as much as possible, I will link all of my pursuits to hypothetical classroom, whole school and pedagogical practice with the continued aim of sharing and igniting discussions about effective teaching and learning.