Networking + Baby

 Phew!  Baby and I have just returned this evening from our first networking event with people we don't know!  We were so excited that our attendance was given the all clear by @WomenEd founder @Miss-Wilsey that we spent the whole day considering which outfits would best convey our professional personas.  We needed something that said, 'high powered' but accessible; informal gravity; a baby of the people, if you will, and eventually decided that Power Dinosaurs was the look we were after.  (Mummy wore a blazer, but didn't quite make it out of the chinos.)

Now, I have a great deal of experience in networking events, from very posh charity fundraisers to casual coffees with complete strangers, so I can say with authority that one great thing about maternity leave is that it provides you with ample opportunity to hone your networking skills.  Almost universally, Mums seek out other Mums in their area, be it through NCT groups, baby classes or by just chatting randomly about co-sleeping during a tram ride, and then they get together and they have coffee.  It's true.  Mums do this on maternity leave.  And when they're having coffee, they're having very pleasant conversations with near-strangers, mostly about babies.  Mums are expert networkers, and because of this, chat invaluable breeze to prospective parents on Open Evening and Parents' Evening.

The mismatch for me, though, was where baby would fit into my professional networking calculations.

• Parent with Baby + Parent with Baby = Networking  
• Colleague + Colleague = Networking  
• Parent with Baby + Colleague = ... totally unprofessional?

I have never seen a baby at a networking event, and I can't imagine that it is a common occurrence around the country, unless that event is specifically about babies or families, but the more I send politely worded emails that waffle in my attempt to articulate my request to bring my baby along with me because I don't have childcare but I still want to be part of important debates and discussions, the more I am met with arms wide open in welcome.  

For those of you hesitating about whether to attend an event with your young baby, therefore, I encourage you whole-heartedly to just be 10% braver and go for it!  Many of the practicalities of doing so are the same as suggested in my post about facilitating workshops with babies - things like timing, settlers, being prepared, knowing yourself and your baby, clear communication and normalising are transferable skills in the #maternityteacher #paternityteacher world - but there are a few things I would add on the back of my experience today:

1. Exit Route: 

Today was the first time that baby was a little grizzly in front of a professional audience.  He'd just had a feed and yelled about his wind.  There was a fairly small crowd at this event so it was easy to get up and leave to respect the conversations being had in the room, but having had to do this today, I'll pay more attention to my exit routes next time, especially in bigger rooms or more complicated buildings.  What I found particularly helpful was access to fresh air and the confidence to wander in and out of the room as he settled so that I could continue to listen and contribute to the discussion.  What I didn't think about was a baby-friendly flat surface, which would have been helpful because all he needed to settle was a bit of a massage to release the enormous shart that came later!

2. Sit Down Stand Up

This event was small enough to be had sitting around in a horseshoe formation, which was great for weary teachers on a Friday night, and for breastfeeding mothers!  Often, however, networking events are stand-up affairs, which, if baby is clingy, gassy or needs to be fed can present problems.  Establishing your presence at an event where you can sit down if need be without being excluded from the conversation, but where you are also at liberty to wander around with your baby in a tiger-in-the-tree pose or to jig up and down as necessary is ideal, so arriving early to scout things out and make requests for chairs or stools is advisable.

3. Buggy Access

To buggy, or not to buggy?  It's a tricky decision.  For many activities, I find the sling highly preferable: it's easier on public transport, it's an almost fail-safe method for getting baby to sleep, it leaves my hands free and takes up no room, but at the same time, it's hot and burdensome, whereas a baby sleeping in a buggy, or happily staring at the lights and contrast on the ceiling leaves you free to have uninterrupted conversations with other adults without ruining your back.

What occurred to me today, as well, as I approached the multi-storey venue with my heavy all terrain buggy, was that many venues are still wheelchair and buggy inaccessible, so you can't just assume that access will be possible.  Whilst this is not the end of the world - buggies can be carried up stairs or bassinets removed - the unexpected need to faff around with heavy lifting can leave you frazzled and distracted before an event has even started.

Thank you once again to @WomenEd for practicing what they preach and including Mums and babies in their discussions about women in leadership.