It quickly became apparent, however, that examples of women who have used maternity leave as a CPD opportunity to support their career development rather than exclusively to spend time off with the baby - a gratefully received or begrudgingly tolerated reality - were few and far between. One of the main reasons for this, I have discovered, is because we are simply not 'there' yet with gender equality, and were even further away from it twenty years ago when many of our current female leaders were forcing their way up the ladder. One woman, responding to my FutureLearn blog appearance said, "I wish I had this opportunity when I was a young teacher with my first baby. In my day, we were fighting for equal pay and male sexism over our going back to work at all." The more I have this #maternityteacher conversation, the more I realise that we still need to push forwards in order to achieve gender equality, and that I have a duty to be a concrete role model for others. Cue lots of cliched but relevant quotes:
(Note: all these relevant and stirring quotes are attributed to men. Coincidence?)
Over the last ten weeks, I hope I have proved that maternity leave doesn't have to be a career break, or a leadership pause. I have completed FutureLearn courses that have supported reflections and creative approaches to my teaching practice, and I have shared these with colleagues still in the classroom to action on my behalf; the same courses have helped me to develop my subject knowledge and begin collating ideas that will hopefully turn into publishable resources; I have improved my understanding of the new GCSE curriculums in order to ensure these resources are appropriate for KS4 teaching; I've gone on adventures to museums, sites, galleries and the countryside and collected the names of exciting non-fiction authors to develop these resources; I have networked with colleagues from Teach First, Future Learn, the Teacher Development Trust and WomenEd; I have been offered the opportunity to facilitate a coaching session exploring these #maternityteacher issues at the next WomenEd Unconference; I have read books on bilingualism, early child development and the immigrant experience, all of which have helped me to reflect on the contexts in which I teach; I have attended Shakespeare days run by my old university and WomenEd Lead Meets and I have blogged and Tweeted about it all to shout from the rooftops that if you so choose, you may have your cake and eat it, too.
... But wait a second... not once has this monster of a woman mentioned her baby - that precious bundle of joy to which she should be dedicating her time. Remember, these moments will never happen again! Well, don't worry, said baby has been pretty much attached to my boob for the whole time and I have been overwhelmed with how generous and considerate and chatty society as a whole can be when you rock up anywhere with a tiny (and let's be honest, incredibly handsome) baby. I've done all the above whilst attending health visitor and doctors' appointments, visiting family, making faces, cooing, wiping up poop and vomit, doing night feeds and day feeds and evening feeds and all the feeds, and jiggling and bouncing and singing and crying on Skype to my mother. Gosh, I must be Superwoman, how do I do it? Well, not quite Superwoman, more Hyperactive Girl or Undiagnosed ADHD Woman, but here are a few tips I've picked up with my battle scars and cuddles to help you enjoy the first few weeks of motherhood and professional development:
1. Buy a sling. Tiny babies don't want to be put down because their mummies smell and feel just so good. Of course, mummies love to cuddle babies, but mummies also like to have a life and answer emails and design resources and get the laundry done and prepare sustenance. Mummies who rely on public transport also like to escape the prison of their own homes and get out and about without being restricted to the tube stops with buggy access, or taking up too much space in cafes. I strongly advise one of the soft slings to begin with because tiny babies will not be satisfied unless they are pressed up against your heart beat and feel as if they are once again smothered tightly in the womb. The same goes for some form of bouncer. Bouncers give you your life back. Get one.
2. Set yourself goals and review them. This way, you can see how much you have achieved and feel empowered and encouraged even if you are still in your pyjamas, starving, at 3:00pm with conditioner still in your hair and a screaming baby fussing around and head butting your nipple. If you haven't achieved anything, you can feel motivated to take small steps towards achievement.
3. Observe your baby. This is one of those common sense teaching techniques that actually comes from Montessori. You can read about her and other practitioners in this very accessible book. Essentially, make your baby a scientific study for a few days: what settles him? Why does he get upset? What time of day are happy times, and which are the very dark times? What vague patterns does he seem to be displaying? How long does he tend to sleep for at a time? When does he want to feed more? When does he sleep for longer periods?
Don't bother with this in the first four weeks, but from about week 5 onwards, your little chap or chappess might fall into a very loose rhythm that will help you to plan your days more successfully to work around him because trust me, he won't work around you just yet. If being a neurotic control freak tickles your fancy, go to town like me and colour code and then discuss the data with your partner in the evening to adapt your action plan for the following day.
4. Get out of bed - at least by week 5 or 6. Get up, open the curtains, make lots of noise, turn the radio on, do everything you can to wake up. Not only will you be helping baby to distinguish between night and day and therefore potentially give yourself longer sleeps at night, it will also readjust your body clock to some form of adult routine. Yes, you will be tired. Yes, you will be functioning on 5-6 hours of broken sleep, but you will get a lot done, your body will be far more grateful for this sense of routine and if you're anything like me, your mental health will improve because of this sense of purpose and schedule.
5. Get your timings right. Once you're out of bed and have done some good Montessori observing, think carefully about your timings. Don't organise that Skype conference call at 4:00pm, for example, when the baby makes you feel like you're failing at life. Do be ready to leave the house the minute the burping is done and know very well where you will sit down for the next feed in one or two hours' time. Don't plan a two hour road trip without knowing where the service stations or convenient places to stop are etc.
6. Be flexible. It's true: sometimes you will need to literally drop everything and deal with your baby, and you will be happy to do so. Nothing will be more important to you in that instance. Don't feel bad if you have to cancel, rearrange, stop, fail in other areas - do these things another time and accept that your leadership journey is a squiggle with your baby at the centre of the jumble, not a straight line with you in full control. With this in mind, plan CPD opportunities that are accommodating of your baby commitments.
7. Develop your pedagogy. Essentially, you are now the personal tutor to your most prized student. Get that investigate brain in gear and build a CPD team with your child. If you have, or are interested in a pastoral role, or work with children with challenging backgrounds or circumstances, understanding early childhood development and things like separation anxiety, early literacy and attachment theory can be hugely helpful in understanding how these things manifest themselves in challenging behaviours, peer relations and how they impact on students' learning.
It will also make you feel really good about sitting in the garden on a warm, but slightly breezy day, drinking coffee with your baby shaded under a red umbrella because you would have built your own sensory experience for him rather than paying someone £80 a term to do the honours for you.
8. Maximise on nap time. Gosh, what a naughty new mother thing for me to suggest. This goes against all the 'sleep when the baby sleeps' advice from the NCT but if you, like me, have worked 70 hour weeks in a high-stress environment and are actually feeling pretty chuffed about getting six hours sleep a night, even if it is broken and find it difficult to sleep in the day, then when that baby drops off happily to sleep in the sling, the bouncer or the moses basket, get on and do whatever you were hoping to do - the online learning, the reading, the blogging, the emailing, the planning, the designing. Even if baby will only sleep on top of you with his face pressed into your sick-scented cleavage as you lie, despairing, in the middle of the living room, have that book or smart phone in grabbing distance, take a deep breath, and read your FutureLearn extract about managing teams.
9. Be 10% braver. It's that WomenEd mantra again! The cynic in me has been genuinely shocked (in a good way) that everyone I have asked to meet for a networking coffee has been delighted to have my baby along; my line managers at work batted not a single eyelid when baby attended a meeting I requested, and proceeded to shart his way through most of it; none of my colleagues on results day cared if I breastfed or changed a nappy in my old classroom - or theirs! The biggest shock of all: conference organisers are excited about baby being on stage with me in front of what could be 50-100 people during a Q&A panel later on this month, and a workshop to explore the #maternityleave journey further in October. However, I sat in front of my computer for a good hour before clicking 'send' on an email that said, 'I'd love to be a panellist, but is there anything you can do for me in terms of child care?' I felt incredibly unprofessional asking, but there is more and more support out there for the reality that a 3 month old baby won't be in nursery, and if an organisation would like the time and input of a mother of such a young baby on a week day, then they will have to provide childcare! So, what's the worst that could happen? Be 100% braver and bring baby along!
Over the last ten weeks, I hope I have proved that maternity leave doesn't have to be a career break, or a leadership pause. I have completed FutureLearn courses that have supported reflections and creative approaches to my teaching practice, and I have shared these with colleagues still in the classroom to action on my behalf; the same courses have helped me to develop my subject knowledge and begin collating ideas that will hopefully turn into publishable resources; I have improved my understanding of the new GCSE curriculums in order to ensure these resources are appropriate for KS4 teaching; I've gone on adventures to museums, sites, galleries and the countryside and collected the names of exciting non-fiction authors to develop these resources; I have networked with colleagues from Teach First, Future Learn, the Teacher Development Trust and WomenEd; I have been offered the opportunity to facilitate a coaching session exploring these #maternityteacher issues at the next WomenEd Unconference; I have read books on bilingualism, early child development and the immigrant experience, all of which have helped me to reflect on the contexts in which I teach; I have attended Shakespeare days run by my old university and WomenEd Lead Meets and I have blogged and Tweeted about it all to shout from the rooftops that if you so choose, you may have your cake and eat it, too.
... But wait a second... not once has this monster of a woman mentioned her baby - that precious bundle of joy to which she should be dedicating her time. Remember, these moments will never happen again! Well, don't worry, said baby has been pretty much attached to my boob for the whole time and I have been overwhelmed with how generous and considerate and chatty society as a whole can be when you rock up anywhere with a tiny (and let's be honest, incredibly handsome) baby. I've done all the above whilst attending health visitor and doctors' appointments, visiting family, making faces, cooing, wiping up poop and vomit, doing night feeds and day feeds and evening feeds and all the feeds, and jiggling and bouncing and singing and crying on Skype to my mother. Gosh, I must be Superwoman, how do I do it? Well, not quite Superwoman, more Hyperactive Girl or Undiagnosed ADHD Woman, but here are a few tips I've picked up with my battle scars and cuddles to help you enjoy the first few weeks of motherhood and professional development:
1. Buy a sling. Tiny babies don't want to be put down because their mummies smell and feel just so good. Of course, mummies love to cuddle babies, but mummies also like to have a life and answer emails and design resources and get the laundry done and prepare sustenance. Mummies who rely on public transport also like to escape the prison of their own homes and get out and about without being restricted to the tube stops with buggy access, or taking up too much space in cafes. I strongly advise one of the soft slings to begin with because tiny babies will not be satisfied unless they are pressed up against your heart beat and feel as if they are once again smothered tightly in the womb. The same goes for some form of bouncer. Bouncers give you your life back. Get one.2. Set yourself goals and review them. This way, you can see how much you have achieved and feel empowered and encouraged even if you are still in your pyjamas, starving, at 3:00pm with conditioner still in your hair and a screaming baby fussing around and head butting your nipple. If you haven't achieved anything, you can feel motivated to take small steps towards achievement.
3. Observe your baby. This is one of those common sense teaching techniques that actually comes from Montessori. You can read about her and other practitioners in this very accessible book. Essentially, make your baby a scientific study for a few days: what settles him? Why does he get upset? What time of day are happy times, and which are the very dark times? What vague patterns does he seem to be displaying? How long does he tend to sleep for at a time? When does he want to feed more? When does he sleep for longer periods?Don't bother with this in the first four weeks, but from about week 5 onwards, your little chap or chappess might fall into a very loose rhythm that will help you to plan your days more successfully to work around him because trust me, he won't work around you just yet. If being a neurotic control freak tickles your fancy, go to town like me and colour code and then discuss the data with your partner in the evening to adapt your action plan for the following day.
4. Get out of bed - at least by week 5 or 6. Get up, open the curtains, make lots of noise, turn the radio on, do everything you can to wake up. Not only will you be helping baby to distinguish between night and day and therefore potentially give yourself longer sleeps at night, it will also readjust your body clock to some form of adult routine. Yes, you will be tired. Yes, you will be functioning on 5-6 hours of broken sleep, but you will get a lot done, your body will be far more grateful for this sense of routine and if you're anything like me, your mental health will improve because of this sense of purpose and schedule.
5. Get your timings right. Once you're out of bed and have done some good Montessori observing, think carefully about your timings. Don't organise that Skype conference call at 4:00pm, for example, when the baby makes you feel like you're failing at life. Do be ready to leave the house the minute the burping is done and know very well where you will sit down for the next feed in one or two hours' time. Don't plan a two hour road trip without knowing where the service stations or convenient places to stop are etc.
6. Be flexible. It's true: sometimes you will need to literally drop everything and deal with your baby, and you will be happy to do so. Nothing will be more important to you in that instance. Don't feel bad if you have to cancel, rearrange, stop, fail in other areas - do these things another time and accept that your leadership journey is a squiggle with your baby at the centre of the jumble, not a straight line with you in full control. With this in mind, plan CPD opportunities that are accommodating of your baby commitments.
7. Develop your pedagogy. Essentially, you are now the personal tutor to your most prized student. Get that investigate brain in gear and build a CPD team with your child. If you have, or are interested in a pastoral role, or work with children with challenging backgrounds or circumstances, understanding early childhood development and things like separation anxiety, early literacy and attachment theory can be hugely helpful in understanding how these things manifest themselves in challenging behaviours, peer relations and how they impact on students' learning.It will also make you feel really good about sitting in the garden on a warm, but slightly breezy day, drinking coffee with your baby shaded under a red umbrella because you would have built your own sensory experience for him rather than paying someone £80 a term to do the honours for you.
8. Maximise on nap time. Gosh, what a naughty new mother thing for me to suggest. This goes against all the 'sleep when the baby sleeps' advice from the NCT but if you, like me, have worked 70 hour weeks in a high-stress environment and are actually feeling pretty chuffed about getting six hours sleep a night, even if it is broken and find it difficult to sleep in the day, then when that baby drops off happily to sleep in the sling, the bouncer or the moses basket, get on and do whatever you were hoping to do - the online learning, the reading, the blogging, the emailing, the planning, the designing. Even if baby will only sleep on top of you with his face pressed into your sick-scented cleavage as you lie, despairing, in the middle of the living room, have that book or smart phone in grabbing distance, take a deep breath, and read your FutureLearn extract about managing teams.
9. Be 10% braver. It's that WomenEd mantra again! The cynic in me has been genuinely shocked (in a good way) that everyone I have asked to meet for a networking coffee has been delighted to have my baby along; my line managers at work batted not a single eyelid when baby attended a meeting I requested, and proceeded to shart his way through most of it; none of my colleagues on results day cared if I breastfed or changed a nappy in my old classroom - or theirs! The biggest shock of all: conference organisers are excited about baby being on stage with me in front of what could be 50-100 people during a Q&A panel later on this month, and a workshop to explore the #maternityleave journey further in October. However, I sat in front of my computer for a good hour before clicking 'send' on an email that said, 'I'd love to be a panellist, but is there anything you can do for me in terms of child care?' I felt incredibly unprofessional asking, but there is more and more support out there for the reality that a 3 month old baby won't be in nursery, and if an organisation would like the time and input of a mother of such a young baby on a week day, then they will have to provide childcare! So, what's the worst that could happen? Be 100% braver and bring baby along!
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