Facilitating CPD + Baby

Yesterday I was absolutely delighted to return to school on the first day of the new year to deliver a CPD workshop to my Department on grammar.  This wasn't simply a lovely opportunity to see my colleagues, meet the new trainees and spend 90 minutes talking about verbs; it was also a significant #maternityteacher moment as it marked the first workshop I had been invited to facilitate with my baby.

When I originally sat down to think about the logistics of accepting the invitation, I was confronted with an anxiety-inducing list: what if the baby had a meltdown half way through the session forcing us to abandon ship; what if I let the Department down by being a bit frazzled and naff, trying to do too many things all at once - attend to baby, deliver workshop, smile, click on the next slide; what if I ruined my reputation in front of valued colleagues; what if everyone thought I was a total weirdo (and a Bad Mother) for bringing my baby into school when I was supposed to be at home, wading in the pink fluffy jacuzzi of motherhood?

I'm pretty sure that these types of thoughts are what the media means when they talk about the 'confidence gap', so if you are having them too, why not banish them with these helpful solutions-focused tips for facilitating a CPD session with a baby strapped to your chest?

1a. Know Yourself and Your Baby

The better you know what works for yourself and your baby (I suggest some Montessori-style observation), the more smoothly your session will run.

My baby, for example, does not do dinner dates because he is busy being possessed by the devil between 7:30-9:30pm, but between the hours of 8:30-4:30 he is an absolute delight as long as he is fed and bounced to sleep at the right times.  I am also lucky that he's already set himself a semi-regular routine of eating every 2-3 hours, burping, being awake and then sleeping for 20-40 minute intervals.  With this in mind, whenever I've planned any professional meetings, I've always given myself a good 30 minute leeway on timings.  It means that I arrive super early to things, but it also means that I have time to sit down, relax, feed, change nappies and burp him so that I can present the world with an apparently perfect child.  Then I keep a very close eye on the clock and...

1b. Prepare for All Eventualities

Whatever it is that settles for your baby, have it on hand, and adapt it for the logistics of your session.  Be it slings, bouncers, buggies, white noise, bottles, dummies, blankets - whatever it is, factor it into your workshop.

For me, this means bringing the sling with me wherever I go, and if I'm going to be anywhere for an extended period of time, then the bouncer, too, because the buggy just does not cut it for my little man.  At the beginning of this session, it also meant taking off a layer (hot classroom), being ready to strip baby down to his nappy (hot baby = furious baby), wearing an empty sling for 45 minutes until the first signs of fatigue presented themselves as predicted (and knowing what these are) and then getting baby into the sling as quickly as possible and doing a series of deep squats until he was sound asleep.  It also meant scouting out the most appropriate breastfeeding spot and keeping the clock in view.

Keeping a baby settled for a controlled period is not sustainable - at some point they're going to have an unpredictable melt down (baby cried aaaaall the way home from this session despite buggy + uneven ground) - but try to think of it like behaviour management: the better you anticipate a volatile child's needs and how they will react to outside provocation, the more likely you are to avoid said child kicking a chair, spitting in your face and storming out of the classroom.

2. Pick a Friendly Audience

My Department are lovely people and they know me well enough to know that I am completely bonkers and hyperactive.  As a warm up to the three other conferences I've committed to in the coming months, therefore, these guys were a safe bet: not only did my Head of Department immediately take me up on my offer to 'help out' whilst I was on maternity leave, she also ensured I was accommodated and welcomed throughout the whole afternoon.  I felt empowered and awesome as I delivered that session because five of the eight of my audience members had already met, held, and had my baby shart in their arms.

This level of familiarity will not always be the case, and facilitating an adult session is exposing at the best of times.  Doing so with your baby is a very personal choice.  Having friendly and supportive faces staring back at you who want to include or learn from you and who don't mind whether the baby cries will make the whole process an empowering rather than humiliating experience, and the more workshops you successfully facilitate, the more practice you will get, the more confident you will feel and the further the news will spread that you are capable of leading CPD accompanied by your baby.

If you're not sure whether your audience will be baby friendly, then just ask, and be super clear about your requirements: don't be shy about saying, 'I will breastfeed during the session in front of the whole world.  Boobs, boobs, boobs, nipples', if this will be the case - better to make that clear now than upset some people later and, in my experience, people - even the big guns organisations, will surprise you with their utter acceptance of parenting practicalities.

3. Normalise with Confidence

It is likely that your nice audience will be split into three groups: parents who have Been There and Get It; people who have come into regular and close contact with other peoples' children, and people who are not parents and have no idea what is normal and what is not.  Whilst the first two groups might cheer fondly at a successfully executed spit-up burp, and compliment the colour-coordination of your sling and your outfit, the latter may gag at the sight of a full nappy and break into an awkward hot sweat at the mention of breastfeeding.

What is great about the latter group, however, is that you can hugely influence their understanding of normal baby-manners because they have no other point of comparison, as long as you do so with confidence: flashing your nipple whilst breastfeeding at your Head of Department's desk as you wrangle about the difference between a compound sentence and a compound object?  Totally normal.  Bouncing up and down in deep squats with a baby in a sling whilst listening to model sentences?  Completely fine.  Changing a poopy nappy on a school desk whilst discussing changes to the KS3 curriculum?  So what?

If you feel that there is an expectation for parents to have childcare arrangements if they want to facilitate or attend a session like this, then let's apply basic logic to normalise this issue as well: most nurseries won't take babies until they are 3 months old; most mothers are not ready to leave their babies at nursery before this; there is a whole load of administration that comes with putting your baby in nursery - you can't just leave him there for a random day; not all of us have family nearby or partners that can step in to provide childcare on a week day; organising time away from a breastfeeding baby is as much of a logistical nightmare as just bringing him along with you; childcare costs money and so in a situation like this where the facilitation is offered pro-bono, the parent would be out of pocket, and even if you had the option of a free live-in mother to care for your formula-fed baby, childcare arrangements are a parent's choice and (ideally) should not be forced by the inflexibility of other agencies.

Phew!  Look at all those semi colons.

If for you, like for me, childcare is problematic, you've therefore got two options: stay at home and do CPD in some other way, or confidently go about your normal parenting routines whilst demonstrating Kung Fu Punctuation.

4. Feel Bad?  Don't Feel Bad.

Of course it has occurred to me that I might be a very selfish mother for wanting to continue my professional development whilst on maternity leave.  Sometimes, when I am blogging, or answering emails whilst bouncing baby in his bouncer (God bless that bouncer), I feel guilty.  I should be playing, I think, and then I spend the whole afternoon making Nielsen Washing Baskets and kissing my baby and then I lie down on his mat with him, exhausted.  For more about the shitty guilt fairy that accompanies parenthood, read this very amusing blog.  For more about all the favours you are doing your child by being yourself, continue reading this blog...

I've done my research.  I have a fairly clear idea about what babies need to flourish: food, love, sleep, stimulation - in no particular order - but instead of signing up to Sensory Class and Splashy Tots, I'm walking my baby into work and asking him to sit quietly whilst I deliver a session on integrating grammar into schemes of work.  So let's be serious teachers and have a look at how this actually pedagogically benefits baby in the same way as an £15 an hour Baby Yoga Class:

• We walk into school, we walk back from school.  On the way, we get fresh air; we look at the clouds and the lights coming through the leaves in the trees (great contrast and pattern); we listen to the traffic (soothing); we sing a song (no inhibitions); we hear a dog bark and other children squealing in the park; we feel the breeze on our faces and we smell a whole load of things from the rotting fish in the chip shop bin to the lavender on the National Trust estate.  Sensory Class.  Done.

• We chat with colleagues at reception and over lunch, during which, at least a dozen people engage for at least four minutes at a time with baby.  He has the exclusive attention of cooing and tickling and baby talk and imitation of facial expressions from lots of different people.  He sees new faces and hears new sounds.  He smiles.  He gets lots of very high-stimulation attention - more than he gets from me, and everyone wants to try out their keys, their hair, their jewellery as new toys for him.  He learns to be social and gets lots of cuddles... I'm pretty sure that's good for both his immune system and his secure attachment.  Mums and Babies Class.  Done.

• We deliver a CPD session on grammar.  He hears a lot of adult, literate conversation and soaks up all this wonderful language learning.  He lays down the foundations for a broad and developed vocabulary that surpasses Spot the Dog.  There are new smells and colours and textures in the classroom.  He gets to sleep in a sling close to Mummy.  He gets more attention and cuddles.  Storytime.  Done.

When baby gets older, what he's also going to learn through this (like I learnt when I was younger - no surprise) is that Mummys don't just stay at home.  Mummys go out and work, and people respect Mummys as much as they respect Daddys and that he is an important member of society, not something that has to be hidden in a cupboard when other adults are around.