Coaching conversations are a great form of CPD for anyone, but particularly compatible with the #maternityteacher lifestyle because, other than the content of the conversation and the status of the coach, they are basically like meeting up with another mum or dad for a chat about things that interest you. Coaching relationships are supportive and non-judgmental and because of this, any decent coach working with you to focus on your professional needs whilst on maternity leave will be understanding of the realities of having an 11 week old baby, and will do their utmost to make you feel comfortable and relaxed during the session.
Both a Google search and my own experience can attest to the manifold benefits of coaching, but it's important to understand the difference between a trained coach and a mate or well-meaning colleague who wants to help by giving you some sound advice. If you don't have a convenient coach on hand, but have a network of people that you could call upon to provide you with informal coaching, make sure you consider the following before asking for a coaching conversation:
- Does this person have both formal training in and experience of being a coach? Even colleagues with experience of coaching can get the tone very wrong if they haven't had proper training from a reputable organisation - the line between coaching and mentoring is a fine one, and the subtle art of coaching requires fighting a lot of innate reactions in body language, tone of voice and semantics. Whilst everyone has to have their first coachee after their formal training, you need to decide whether you are happy to be their pilot run at this stage, especially if your maternity leave is short - do you have the time to be offering this new coach more than they are able to offer you?
- Can this person be objective? Surprisingly, what makes my coach so effective is that he has never worked in education and is a man. When I want to talk about school politics or whine about how tough it is to be a woman, what he doesn't do is roll his eyes and agree that there's always a Mr Smith or Mrs Jones in every staffroom, or pour me another glass of wine and agree that we should join forces to topple the patriarchy. What he does is listen, ask objective questions and get me thinking clearly - he coaches.
- Is this person available during the day? It's a reality that the bath time routine starts at 7pm and if you're anything like me, you're dead to the world by 9pm (but sleepwalking through feeds and burping at midnight, 2am, 5am and ready to start the day again at 7am!) Most people are only just finishing their commute at this time, so are unfortunately incompatible with your current lifestyle.
- Can this person commit to the timespan of your maternity leave? If you're taking a full year or longer, make sure that this person can be around for a session at least three times a year. If, like me, you're taking six months or less, you'll want to squeeze at least two sessions into this time, so it's important to arrange dates at the outset to which you can both commit.
- Do you want this relationship to last beyond your maternity leave? The focus of your conversations will depend on which ideas or areas of your career you want to resolve or develop through the coaching partnership. If you'd like support with preparing now for the beginning of a new 5 year plan, for example, then your conversations will be different to those you might have if you want the coaching sessions to help you achieve a career goal within three months.
- Try to keep it professional. Let's be honest: your baby is gorgeous. His smile lights up the room. He is so clever and look, so alert and making lovely noises and can you see he's grabbing now and here, if I put him on his front he can show you how strong he's getting - he can lift up his head! ... Suddenly the coaching conversation is completely derailed. It's difficult, but focus on yourself during your sessions, even if you bring baby with you. It is highly likely that as you are standing up to go and your productive conversation is over, your coach will linger to coo and cheek-pinch and make all the right comments about how sparky your baby is - because who could resist?!
Now, what about the reverse to all of this? I personally believe that everyone can benefit from effective coaching, but what if you already have a wealth of coaching experience and training? How can you develop your leadership skills by continuing to coach others during your time off? You might want to consider the support you can continue to give your school, or other teachers (a great opportunity to do so has been created by the DfE), but in this case, it's important to understand your coachee's expectations of your baby's attendance. If you don't have the capacity to leave your baby with your partner, family member or childcare provider whilst you deliver coaching sessions for others, what about a creative arrangement between other teaching parents who also need to bring their children along? If this is something with which you both feel comfortable and you can concentrate on each other, rather than your children, during the conversation, then it might be a workable solution.
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